Words to Influence people: Shelle Rose Charvet

Show Notes

Episode 173 (Shelle is based in Hamilton, Canada)

This is a repeat of the popular episode #10 from Oct 2020

In this conversation with Shelle Rose Charvet we explore:

• Recognizing that others don't think like you do


• The danger of trying to dig your way out of a hole


• Understanding the difference between suggestion and command language


• How to find the people who are most likely to say yes to your offer


• Why you might want to people around you who think differently


• What's the difference between "away from " vs "towards" language


• The difference between value and interesting


• How to decode their language before you respond


• When do you choose between options, process, details


• Internal vs external modes of influence


• Why you might use the phrase "but it's up to you"

About our guest Shelle Rose Charvet:

She is an expert in Influencing and Persuasion  and author of Words that Change Minds.

Shelle works with organizations around the world and now remotely to help them understand what really motivates their clients.

When we recorded this interview she lived in Hamilton, Canada and spent time in Berlin. She speaks English, French, Spanish and is learning German.

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Excerpts from this conversation with Shelle Rose Charvet:

Well, the very first mistake that people make is that they unconsciously believe, like sometimes they are not aware of having this belief, they unconsciously believe that other people think the same way they do.

So, the mistake they make is they use the same strategy to convince other people that they used to convince themselves of something and then they are shocked and dismayed when other people do not just leap onto their bus and go wherever they want, what is wrong with those people, do not they get it.

Well, the issue is they need to get it in a way that is different than how I get it or how you get it and that is one of the very big mistakes.

 So, other people do not necessarily think like me. I cannot find it hard to believe.

I know, is not it? Are they weird, is there something wrong with them?

Did not they go to school, did not they learn anything? Clearly they must understand me.

And I am a logical person, why are not they?

So, how do we overcome that challenge? I suppose, the first thing we need to recognize is that they are not necessarily trying to be difficult. They just think differently and not necessarily wrong, just differently. So, how do we overcome that challenge?

So, this is what the book words that change minds is all about. We need to understand that people have different values and criteria for making decisions so what is important to me may not be important to them, like one of the ways I like to convince people is I tell them things are interesting.

Well, interesting is my word for valuable and worth looking at, would not it be great if you asked somebody, well how do something is worthwhile taking a look at?

So, George, let me ask you just for a minute, how do you know that something is worthwhile to take a look at.

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Your host is George Torok

George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He’s fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.

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