How to address the Toxic Rock Star: Dotty Posto

Help the toxic star and save your team
"Does not play well with others"
Episode 192 (Dotty is based in Milwaukee)
In this conversation with Dotty Posto we explore:
Why do some leaders get mean, and degrading?
How to address this challenge with promising leaders
Identifying the anger and frustration and how to redirect it
Can we save this toxic person to become a true team supporter
The process of diagnosing and correcting destructive behavior
Looking for the balance in their life
About our guest Dotty Posto:
Dotty Posto helps CEOs and Senior Leaders ignite their stagnant culture to inspire their people to outstanding performance.
Dotty began her coaching and consulting business after working in Organizational Development for Fortune 500 companies such as The Chicago Tribune, Aon-Hewitt and Harley-Davidson Motor Company.
Dotty’s clients say, through their work with her, they’ve experienced new levels creativity,  effectiveness, and well-being...without the struggle they'd become accustomed to.  
Learn more about Dotty and her services at her website
https://inplainsightinc.com/
You can find a free Energy Assessment and the free videos for Leadership Development
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Excerpts from this conversation with Dotty Posto:
I've seen leaders really get mean, I've seen leaders get judgmental and degrading, and to me that has no place in the workplace.
-----
And that's what's making that action, whatever action is causing the  "does not play well with others" on my report card.
Some people call it a personality conflict, which I do not like that term. It is,, we are in such a brain state of reactivity, that something happens out there that we've seen or heard or experienced before, and it's triggering us and our amygdala is saying that our brain is saying you're not safe.
And it goes into fight, flight or freeze or there's also tend-to. befriend or fawn-on that some women do.
 A woman might go into people pleasing, might go into, oh, everything's great, everything's fine. And, and never challenge anyone, or someone might be in the fight, and really go into challenging others and, and being very defensive and angry and upset, and, and so there's these two sides of the spectrum that people can react to when they have those triggers.
And it's creating what I work with people to do is create that space of choice to be able to first realize that it isn't what's out there.
It's got nothing to do with what's out there. It's what's happening in here. And in here, what's going on in our body? What's going on with that anger, that frustration? And what are the thoughts that are sending me there from an anger, frustration perspective?
-----
I think there's a few things. When I first started working at Harley, one of my managers gave me three leadership principles.
And one of them was get curious. Before you get furious, I am a huge proponent of providing feedback. And if they see an escalating situation, it might even be get curious, ask a question.
Say, Hey, you seem to be getting upset. What's happening that's creating this frustration, help us understand why you're getting frustrated here.
-----
----more----
Your Intended Message is the podcast about how you can boost your career and business success by honing your communication skills. We’ll examine the aspects of how we communicate one-to-one, one to few and one to many – plus that important conversation, one to self.
In these interviews we will explore presentation skills, public speaking, conversation, persuasion, negotiation, sales conversations, marketing, team meetings, social media, branding, self talk and more.
 
Your host is George Torok
George is a specialist in communication skills. Especially presentation. He’s fascinated by the links between communication and influencing behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.
 
Connect with George
www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com

Show Notes

Help the toxic star and save your team
"Does not play well with others"

Episode 192 (Dotty is based in Milwaukee)


In this conversation with Dotty Posto we explore:


  • Why do some leaders get mean, and degrading?

  • How to address this challenge with promising leaders

  • Identifying the anger and frustration and how to redirect it

  • Can we save this toxic person to become a true team supporter

  • The process of diagnosing and correcting destructive behavior

  • Looking for the balance in their life


About our guest Dotty Posto:


Dotty Posto helps CEOs and Senior Leaders ignite their stagnant culture to inspire their people to outstanding performance.


Dotty began her coaching and consulting business after working in Organizational Development for Fortune 500 companies such as The Chicago Tribune, Aon-Hewitt and Harley-Davidson Motor Company.


Dotty’s clients say, through their work with her, they’ve experienced new levels creativity,  effectiveness, and well-being...without the struggle they'd become accustomed to.  


Learn more about Dotty and her services at her website


https://inplainsightinc.com/


You can find a free Energy Assessment and the free videos for Leadership Development


-----


Excerpts from this conversation with Dotty Posto:


I've seen leaders really get mean, I've seen leaders get judgmental and degrading, and to me that has no place in the workplace.

-----


And that's what's making that action, whatever action is causing the  "does not play well with others" on my report card.


Some people call it a personality conflict, which I do not like that term. It is,, we are in such a brain state of reactivity, that something happens out there that we've seen or heard or experienced before, and it's triggering us and our amygdala is saying that our brain is saying you're not safe.


And it goes into fight, flight or freeze or there's also tend-to. befriend or fawn-on that some women do.


 A woman might go into people pleasing, might go into, oh, everything's great, everything's fine. And, and never challenge anyone, or someone might be in the fight, and really go into challenging others and, and being very defensive and angry and upset, and, and so there's these two sides of the spectrum that people can react to when they have those triggers.


And it's creating what I work with people to do is create that space of choice to be able to first realize that it isn't what's out there.


It's got nothing to do with what's out there. It's what's happening in here. And in here, what's going on in our body? What's going on with that anger, that frustration? And what are the thoughts that are sending me there from an anger, frustration perspective?


-----


I think there's a few things. When I first started working at Harley, one of my managers gave me three leadership principles.


And one of them was get curious. Before you get furious, I am a huge proponent of providing feedback. And if they see an escalating situation, it might even be get curious, ask a question.


Say, Hey, you seem to be getting upset. What's happening that's creating this frustration, help us understand why you're getting frustrated here.


-----


----more----


Your Intended Message is the podcast about how you can boost your career and business success by honing your communication skills. We’ll examine the aspects of how we communicate one-to-one, one to few and one to many – plus that important conversation, one to self.

In these interviews we will explore presentation skills, public speaking, conversation, persuasion, negotiation, sales conversations, marketing, team meetings, social media, branding, self talk and more.


 


Your host is George Torok


George is a specialist in communication skills. Especially presentation. He’s fascinated by the links between communication and influencing behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.


 


Connect with George


www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com


https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgetorokpresentations/


https://www.youtube.com/user/presentationskills


https://www.instagram.com/georgetorok/


 


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